Day 00. 0 Miles. Like a Bauhaus Bawse.

Gesamtkunstwerk.

Bring your seat backs to their full and upright positions and stow your tray tables, we’ll be arriving into Modernism shortly.

Sort of. My Raleigh Sojourn and I arrive, safely into Kansas City. I’m still nervous about bike breakage, so straight away I set out to rebuild and check her out for any handling issues. Everything’s good to go. Shoutout to unionized airport baggage handlers worldwide. And even those crazy motherfuckers in the TSA. I love the cat and mouse game I’ve been playing with them for a few years now. I save my inspection notices and scatter them throughout in the bike bag. They place another one in there every time; yet also collect the previous ones from all up in there and pile them all neatly on top. It’s like I’m saying: “I know you’re watching me so check me again why don’t you” and they’re replying: “we know you know we’re watching you and will check your shit each and every time.” Thanks for doing your job guys and gals, you’re better than the politicians and amazon delivery drivers, I guess.

Bau. Bow. Bao. So what does it all mean?

the human body as a geometric puppet

the bicycle as a shared discipline of both craft and art

colors as emotional forces

words as structural elements

Jane, stop this crazy thing!

Back here on planet Earth, I’ve gone and pushed back my departure outta KC by a day to avoid some storms. Predictably, those storms then delay a day as well. Well played Mother Nature. Maybe windy, rainy riding was meant to be. I have the day off, either way. I no bike; I walk; meandering through the city to help bring back my navigational skills. It’s been a while and I don’t trust my post meningococcal brain nearly as much as my old one. Neuroplasticity developing as I make my way up Grand Blvd. My hotel has a Jim Leedy Bar which sounds like it’s super awesome but it’s kinda empty and lame, so I skip their breakfast and instead Messenger Coffee and Ibis Bakery set me straight. I wanna say the coffee slaps, though that might be forced usage. Go ask the cool kids.

So I walk and I navigate and I ponder. River Market. Crossroads. Cool names of areas. My consciousness evolving as I move. My thoughts drift. Downtown KC is like downtown Buffalo in ways. Big and empty and crumbling. Probably bumping and jumping 24/7 back in a different era. Not today. The similar state of the downtown area of 80% of American cities truly is the proof in the pudding that capitalism is clearly completely collapsing. The question to ask is “do we want the United States of America to collapse with capitalism or progress into something beyond?”

Something beyond human life simply being line items on a billion (and now trillion) dollar multinational corporate conglomerate’s budget sheet. Is there life beyond the profit motive for the average American citizen? Or are we all inevitably tied to this lifestyle, unable to pivot and dedicate ourselves to something more collectively minded, something more beneficial to our quality of life?

These massive stretches of pavement and buildings constructed in an era of wealth and productivity, intended for a much-higher-than-current capacity — they scream emptiness, loneliness, and decay. Entire downtowns with less than five or six pedestrians per square mile and more than 5000 empty cavernous office spaces or empty chic short term apartment lofts in the same span. A total waste. Sparsely populated by a pedestrian few who are either too eager to spend too much money or too eager to ask me for my money. Totes inefficient. These delineated spaces for the hope and allure of a few tourists or individual enterprises at the cost of local residents and their rightful place in a population center. Airbnb might be killing the world. Law Firms with five partners occupying three floors in a world of virtual meetings and AI might be killing the world. The rent is too damn high. It’s a worldwide occurrence but a distinctly American epidemic.

The profit margins and justifications for such waste are all based on bullshit much like roadway studies that tell us just one more lane on the road will cure crippling rush hour traffic. Just one more lane!

Or the idea that another parking lot will solve any problem. Just one more lot!

We evaluate a things’ potential or capacity based on some average that is inevitably betrayed by the peak of that average. All those cars not being driven taking up all that space for maybe 30-40% of the day.

And with that thinking right here and now in downtown anywhere USA, happy hour and nightlife is to one day what the holiday season is to the entire fucking year. That tiny, brief period justifying enormous waste. It keeps growing because of that small brief period when it shouldn’t exist at all. One more lane for a rush hour that only expands as public transportation dwindles and becomes more for the poor. One more airbnb for hipsters who aren’t relocating anyway. One more credit line for Christmas gifts we don’t need. What’s next? Bookmarking the weakest chapter of a good book. Where and how does it end? Why can’t we look at the whole pie.

I’m startled out of my American day-mare with a refreshing dose of camaraderie. A longtime acquaintance — at minimum a business colleague and at max a brother in arms in the fight for what’s right — lives here in Kansas City. I haven’t see Steddy P since 2013, when I booked a small run of hip hops shows for him and his partner DJ Mahf. They are absolute legends in Missouri, amazing performers and wonderful dudes… like 90% of my homies from the 1997-2015 indie hip hop world. Like the quality of these humans is so high that I legit feel like somehow this thread of dudes are the only solid, stand up men in our age range. We are passing away in increasing numbers and so I try to take every opportunity to check in and re connect with these old friends whenever possible.

I’m not sure how things with Steddy and I left off, but right now as I stand here hugging the proudly-part-owner of Record Bar KC they pick right back up as if it was just last week they were rocking Buffalo, Toronto and NYC. We chat for a bit. He’s given up the touring musician life for now, focusing on being a single dad of twin boys and managing the three music venues he’s always got an ownership stake in. It feels good to see him doing well. It feels good to show up for my people. Connection gives me strength and hope, I even take a photo without showing my ass or giving the finger. I don’t have a hat to hold so I solidarity salute it is.

Later, I indulge in something called contrast therapy. Real bawse shit. For $25, I get an hour in my own locked spa room. Back and forth between 175° infrared sauna and 48° cold plunge I go. It’s shocking but healthy. I don’t take pictures. Truly refreshing and probably that last time I’ll be this comfortable and pampered for weeks.

It’s also likely my last night indoors and in an actual bed for a bit, so I pass out early, eager to push out tomorrow morning. LFG.

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Pack, Animal.

Er… AMINAL. Intentionally misspelling the title, y’all. Butt. I am actually an aminal 4reals, youse. And. Minerva — also quite an aminal — gets up, gets involved, and gets into it; proving my point, yinz.

Fast forward past where I pack and then I pack and I pack before I then pack after I pack and I pack.

It’s like levels to a video game. I think. Don’t play those. I do hear there’s levels to ‘em though and I tend to believe those people. The gamers, of course.

In short, I often over-engineer my preparation. I kinda like it and I’m probably gonna do it again.

Ad nauseam, I’m packing 3 bags for a plane ride, which then will transform themselves into 5 bags and 1 bicycle which I intend to roll up into Chicago, where a another bag — I think we’re up to 9 bags now — is gonna do the Windy City Wait. Whatever in the fuck that is. All aminal. Bags on bags on bags. Past present future, you all. I go about the intense packing operation in exactly the reverse order as described; over the course of several days; after several weeks of spreading it all out for testing and processings. It’s like that and that’s the way it is. You get what you get. Insert cliche here, you’uns.

A few Notes From The Underground: I did my best to remove brands because none of them pay me. If you’re interested in the specifics of any of this gear, please look at the photos, or message me. Also things in bag nine are off-bike clothes and footwear and thusly aren’t on this long bicycle ride packing list. As isn’t any of the massive amount of packing tape, bike part cushioning and bubble-wrap on my bagged bicycle… because, obv.

EMPTY SPACE FOR FOOD

2 small front saddle bags

2 large rear saddle bags

1 handlebar bag

3 bike water bottles
back light
3 bungee cords
crash pad
cable+lock+tie
bluetooth speaker
gps
front wheel locking gear tie

2 sun/glasses
headlamp
lighter
wallet/id/iphone
notepad/pen
power bank
charging cables

ultralight compact tent
flip-flops
rain jacket

sanitary wipes/buttr
chapstick/lotion
sunscreen
toothpaste/brush/floss
vitamin supplements
clippers/tweezer
bandaids/sanitizer
liquid soap/wash cloth

20° rated lightweight sleeping bag
liter nalgene bottle
lightweight camp towel
stove/coffee press
collapsible cup/spork
electrolytes (what plants crave)

bicycle pump
leatherman tool
multi+chain tool
gorilla tape
2 spare tubes
tour patch kit
poly grease
fiberfix repair spoke
2 vinyl gloves/grease rag
spare section chain
spare derailleur hanger + screws
10 various size zip ties
2 tire levers
thin plastic card tire boot
small scrubbing brush
2 spare gears ties
presta/schrader valve adapter

shorts
zipable pants/shorts
2 face/head gator
tank shirt
2 cycling gloves
cycling cap
knit cap w/ light
short sleeve shirt
2 long sleeve shirt
long sleeve thermal shirt
fleece lined sweatpants
2 long socks
2 short socks
long underwear
5 short underwear

ace banadage
2 wrist braces
spring grip exerciser

2 detachable, roll up fenders

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La Palabra Secreta De Hoy Es… Resilience

Before Skynet went online and shortly thereafter became self aware, it was all just us carbon based lifeforms here on the planet. When I think of the human body, I don’t much differentiate between this meat suit hung on a skeleton and the 2×6’s and drywall I utilize to rehab and renovate this house. Actually rehabbing and renovating this house right now. Like, right now, right now. Sawdust. We live in the future. Conky 2000 has unionized and is conducting a work stoppage. Paul Reuben is still dead as dog shit. I’ll have the deliver today’s secret word, boys and girls: Resilience. Let it be no secret that I consider resilience to be an advanced form of dexterity. Flexible dexterity, to be specific. Absolute yet adaptive, your honor. Ironclad and yet also malleable, officially. This past March, I learned a lot about it. And a lot about myself: I went ahead and found myself hospitalized for 15 days; only remembering half of them; effectively a ward of the Catholics and their health system. I don’t much care for all their Our Fathers or any of their pedo priests, but their nurses at Kenmore Mercy Hospital are goddamn angels walking amongst us on Earth. IV lines and catheters and spinal taps, oh my. All because a deadly bacterial strain known as Neisseria took me to death’s precipice, apparently.

I say apparently because no one tells you what almost dying feels like. What does that even mean though? Almost? Is this horse shoes? Hand grenades? Bocce? I guess I didn’t Know The Ledge, Rakim.

My perception is binary: you are either alive or you’re not. It doesn’t feel like I almost died, but the doctors tell me otherwise. My loved ones’ terrified behavior blatantly demonstrates the fact of what they’ve witnesses. I don’t recall much. Everyone reminds me that I’m probably only alive due to the remarkably good shape I was in before this infection tried to completely eat my brain and spinal column. Nom nom… nope.

Turns out, I’ve been building my biological scaffolding to endure a meningococcal war by dragging it across tens of thousands of miles of pavement, gravel and dirt on decades of very long rides. Butt. It gets metaphysical. Beyond the binary. The road doesn’t just condition my muscles; it calluses my mind. It forces me to embrace uncertainty, to sit with discomfort, and to adapt when the horizon turns hostile. Yup, pushing my organic chassis to withstand the road and keeping my third eye open and pliant for what these unpredictable journeys throw at me was all just a dress rehearsal. It was training for a much uglier, internal fight—the struggle to keep my flesh six feet up — not six feet under.

To survive a battle within your own nervous system, it’s clear to me that one has to completely redefine what it means to be strong. Before the ridiculous fever, the massive neck and headache, the systemic extremity swelling, the skyrocketing blood pressure and the pericarditis inducing a-fibrillation, I thought of strength as a brick fucking wall—unmoving and untouchable. Meningitis shatters that illusion.

True resilience, I learned, lives in the paradox. The upside down. The fully variable and completely unknown. That universal human characteristic called hypocrisy; it can actually all somehow prove to be valuable after all. As Master Yoda puts it, we must unlearned what we have learned. In-fuckin-deed. An unbreakable, yet intangible, spirit – housed in a physical body that must soften, bend, and completely reshape itself just to make it to the next breath. We don’t survive by standing completely still; we survive because the iron inside us learns how to bend without breaking. Maybe its mercury. I’m no alchemist; the further I push into recovery the more I must unexpect the expected.

This HAL9000 wannabe inside my Macbook Pro prompts me to now recount a memory of extreme mental effort and fortitude from one of my long rides. Mindpower. It tells me I should call it a masterclass in psychological tolerance. And how I learn to constantly remind myself: it’s all mental. Vomit comes up into my throat. I should mention grinding alone along the Natchez Trace in 2019 or battling relentless, bone-crushing 20 mph headwinds 5 days right through resource-scarce West Texas desert canyon country. The soon to be sentient robots think I should try to relate to the reader anecdotally. It doesn’t understand how many entire days I’ve cycled each and every mile uphill. It can’t. I can’t think of a less creative approach than the one it is suggesting. Probably because I couldn’t care less about relating to the supposed “reader”. I just want to practice creatively expressing my experience, opening doors of perception, with a pinch of hope that someone who’s had or is having a harder time battling meningitis (or any other deadly illness) might find support, understanding and inspiration through it. Neither Artificial Intelligence nor Bike Blog Nerdery has a got a damn thing to say about that. I’ve got all the Juice now.

It’s primarily a much simpler premise anyway: propelled out on the middle of nowhere, you can’t hit pause. Principally. It’s not a treadmill you can step off of when the stress test hits peak heart rate. I’ve adapted that fact to thusly live in the “does not compute” spaces. I swallow my panic, accept the difficulties, and Keep It Moving, to the K.I.M.

Whew! Having been as inspiring as I can manage, I’m at this moment really just trying to wrap this post up. Right now. Getting lazy from the brain fog hanging around my battered meninges, I go ahead and call upon our robot despots for help 1nce Again, Phife. Deus Ex Machina. It doesn’t really know me very well; it suggests:

So when I woke up in a hospital bed this past March, blind-sided by a swollen nervous system and missing a week’s worth of my own memory, that survival setting instantly clicked on. The terrain had changed from chip-seal highways to a sterile ICU, but the protocol was identical. My brain knew exactly how to sit in the dark, tolerate the brutal static of a-fibrillation, and handle a system running entirely on empty. The road had already taught me how to suffer without breaking.

Ain’t that just some templated ass bullshit that doesn’t even sound like me? Or anyone with half a thought?! I really only like using AI for few things, the number one being enjoyment in calling it out on it’s ass-kissing and/or misinformed and/or misleading bullshit. Check out how I tried using it to craft a route through the sprawl surrounding Chicago and it admits that it “hallucinated” the entire thing. Like it wanted to get me lost or something. John Connor would agree.

Instead, I’ll commence the conclusion first by pointing out that today is World Meningitis Awareness Day, and then do what I was gonna do all along anyway and bust a funky dope timespace maneuver to terminate this post with an introduction of sorts. An intro into my upcoming long ride. More of the same but yet something brand new. A new chapter on what feels like extra life. Miles and years I might otherwise not have had. One that’s been put off years due to calendar restrictions and then by months more due to physical limitations. I think I’m probably mostly likely kinda ready though. At least I hope so. Resilience. Freak out! Ahh!

Airdrop into Kansas City and pedal the KATY Trail across Missouri (aka Mizzeruh) to Saint Louis. Cross the Mighty Mississippi into Illinois and follow historic Route 66 up to The Windy City. Might we all offer praise to the Spokes Gods that they might rename it “The Tailwindy City”. I’m hoping so. I’ll test my flexible dexterity one more time, and this time its post-bacterial meningitis. I’ll spread awareness of the signs and symptoms of this deadly disease however I can. And I’ll use Natural Intelligence and human mind power each and every minute and mile along the way, como siempre. Brilliance in resilience. Check the Rhime.

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