I imagine what it’s like being a pilot walking through an airport, fully uniformed up. Equally all parts everything. Strike that, I’m looking at two pilots walking by through an airport. I like airports. Even the fake international buffalo airport. Fake in that it’s not geographically in Buffalo and that it doesn’t really fly internationally for shit. Actual airport though. Wearing shirt blue shorts and a black on black slow roll tee, I’m walking like a pilot through this mahfucka, having just checked my watch to get this:

I’m not even frazzled about it. But to be as clear as a 90s bottle of Zima, this is my first time. I’ve heard it hurts. I dunno. Not sure what I’m doing but I’m trying to be safe. Plus, for real – the cost in shipping my belovedly precious Raleigh Sojourn now prohibitively outweighs my fear of bikes on planes. It’s like that Sam Jackson flick with snakes, but, you know – the snakes are bikes. Or something. But it only cost $30. I put it in this large canvas nashbar bag that is built for the occasion. I came up on it free like 15 years ago and found it in the back of the garage last year. Delta gets me for another $30 for a suitcase full of my tools, camping and cooking gear. I hath no camping fuel sir. We might have snakes on this plane.

Maybe it’s a good time to be kind and rewind. Get real specific riding shotty while Einstein brings the Delorean up to speed. I enter May 15 2024 in to the time circuit display and away we go.

Days 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. 325 Miles. 16,447 Feet of Elevation Gained. ADKBFF:

BTW that the best rides are usually impromptu rides, yet TBH, long rides don’t typically lend themselves to improvisation. I’ll pause the abbreviations for a moment in homage to the amount of planning that usually goes into a well executed and enjoyable bicycle tour. Routes. Gear. Weather. Training. Get it? Got it? Good. Now that this is clear, FTW I’m riding without much planning.

Damon hits me up. He’s leading another cadre of boomers on self-supported ride through Alaska and up into Denali. Sounds awesome. Except for the low wages and high likelihood that the retired pansies he’s leading are gonna wine and complain and need babying the entire way. Gross. But nonetheless, Damon plans. He trains. He’s telling me that he wants to hit the Adirondacks for a few days and do some elevation riding to train on the hills. Hills? I tell him the earth must be flat because the internet says so. He proposes doing this in two weeks. I only have next week off work. He says he can make that happen and I now have just a few days to gather my gear, check for routing options and get my ass ready for thousands of feet of daily elevation gain. Fully loaded. My legs twitch. I pack my shit. I hit the Amtrak. I reconnect with my dude. Literally my best friend. It’s fun how my friend circle has gotten smaller but the level of love and respect for those in that circle has exponentially increased one hundred fold. It’s only gonna be a few days long and usually my writing takes longer than my riding to get good on these sorts of rides. So I doubt this will be enough time for a this here web blog to develop into anything truly worth reading, best if you just tune out now. Better yet, get off the goddamn internet and go outside. Ride your bike. Take a walk. Say hi to other humans. Disconnect. Digital disconnect. I promise you won’t miss a god damn thang. The technology is truly inhumane, existing only to us all in a feedback loop of repetitive algorithmic-based stimuli. An echo chamber of stupidity, where every opinionated jackass is now an expert witness. Spouting out and popping off on whatever issue as if that will do anything. If the end of the world comes, you won’t need your Facebook or Instagram or Tik Tok. And if it doesn’t, you still won’t need any of that shit. I’ll be out there. Shit, maybe we will even cross paths and create a social network based on actually connecting in real time and space. Like it was for thousands of years. I could complain more, but no one’s listening, not even me.

That’s it’s. No more, no less. Enjoy these pics of the five day ride through the peaks of the Adirondacks.