TTT22 #10: Belgrade Serbia

Number ten city on my travels in 2022 is also my shortest trip of the year. Quite enjoyable though. My entry into foreign nation numero cuarenta y tres stands out in a plethora of manifestations. Manifestos. My flight out of IST requires an hour and a half long bus ride, so this journey to the cultural capital of the Balkan Peninsula and former Yugoslavia starts at 2am on zero sleep and continues with raised awareness. I’m flying to Belgrade, Serbia on Air Serbia and apparently I’m flying on business class. It’s an hour flight and I have full run of the entire menu. Plus an empty middle seat. Plus — since Serbia is technically a 13 hour layover on my way from Anatolia to Catalonia — access to their airport lounge. A ponder how well I could sleep a couple hours in there. The plane boss, the plane lands. It’s still dark. An hour later. But two hours with a time zone change. The Nik Tesla airport is minimal as fuck. Seems like a giant construction zone. No shops. No cafes. Toilets and passport control. I’m exhausted yet I stick to the script of hitting the city center and taking it in, cousin of death be damned. I have nothing to declare and step out into the crispy cool darkness. Fuck it. I step on the local bus. The driver confirms it’s heading to the center and waves me on when I ask “how much?”. Public transport for the win. I hop off the 72 at the downtown bus station. Much closer to things I wanna see.

A city which has been continuously occupied for over 7000 years, it’s early Saturday morning and nothing is open yet. Like nothing. Hoping for a comfy coffee shop, I instead head to Kalemegdan city park. Apparently it’s a nice drop into the Danube; the heavy fog is beautiful but occludes the view. The chilliness persists, nevertheless the sun has finally peaked out and I find a lit bench and pass out. Wake up and I’ve donated my body heat to the atmosphere. It’s still cold and I get up get walking. 4 fully backpacked miles later and I’m into a triple shot latte and a marvelous public poop. Pack up and Republic Square has a Saturday sweets festival of some sort. Ice cream. Donuts. Candy. Cakes. I could go on. I lounge up in the sun on the public statue steps. Everyone else is doing it. It’s feels good.

Turns out Belgrade hosts tons of various cultural events, BBC named them one of the five most creative cities in the world. Also turns out that Belgrade is considered one of the best — if not the best — nightlife cities in Europe. Lonely Planet named them best party city in the world back in 09. Too bad I won’t be here late, my flight out is at 6pm.

I walk more. There’s cool things being set up in another park I find. I have no idea what it is. No idea whatsoever. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Young people smiling. This is nice. Urban land mines. Not so nice. I almost step in some dog poop checking out graffiti: “remember Kosovo is Serbia”. I dunno I’m not feeling political. It might be. It might not be. I don’t give a fuck, I head over to get a taste of some authentic Serbia food, which is delicious. I decide to head back to the airport early, tired and desirous to soak up some free airport lounge access. There, I eat and drink more. And more. Eventually I board the plane, and trout is served with actual metal utensils as we hit cruising altitude. Superb Serbs when it comes to cuisine, and I eat two days worth of food in a half day. Maybe one day I’ll be back with more time to enjoy the nightlife.

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TopTenTravels from 2022

Used to do this on the reg. Back in the old days, the before times, pre Panda. When anyone went anywhere with much frequency. Well, right now — like right now, right now — I’m riding solo on my couch watching stupid Christmas movies and couldn’t give a flying fuck whenever Covid is over or was ever or or whatever… all I know is that I went to more than ten places this year!!! First time since 2019 that i’ve been lucky enough to once again travel a whole shit ton. I hope all you out there in the imaginary audience of readers I probably don’t really have did too.

And to be clear, if you’re gonna go ahead and publish your own top ten list you god damn better well have been on more than ten travels this year. Somewhere gotta go. Sacrifice matters. Them’s the rules. I didn’t make ‘em; you didn’t make ‘em. Butt. This is the way they’re traditionally handed down and that’s the way it’s always been done. So sayeth the spoke gods. Now let’s get going…

HONORABLE MENTION:

Loop Full of FLowers Ride

Ah!!! Hahah… see all the dids that I did right there? Despite the fact that every single entry on my 2022 top ten list is a single city, my honorable mention destination pick isn’t one city — instead the entire state of Florida. Floriduh as my cousin and sunshine state resident would spell it. And I think he’s a doctor or something too. So yeah. Nonetheless. My thirteen day, seven hundred sixty three mile (1,228 km) solo ride was a wonderfully reinvigorating physical and mental excursion. In the sunshine, Roy Ayers. It barely beats out a 9 day group ride with my besties Damon and Kara from NYC to Buffalo in June and — like that Empire Trail travel — is well documented on this here website… so “READ ALL ABOUT IT” motherfuckers. And with that I’ll leave us with this crunchy tidbit: exactly zero of my 2022 toptentravels is documented beyond a passing mention on this site, so strap in, strap on or strap up… a new year is coming.

My location paper journal and notes reflect a broad range of wisdom from reading, people I met, and signs I saw on the refreshing ride.
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Day 9. 602 Miles. Ain’t Nothin To It But To Do It

I wake up and my body is talking to me. Telling me something. I’ve got twenty minutes to figure it out. I’ve never been more glad that there’s a toilet nearby because I really don’t wanna crap under this tree in the Medina canal park. We pack up and get out earlier than ever — nothing like the final miles to motivate.

Back on the trail. I’ve gone fully native. Shirtless from the start. Stinky and half naked at 10am. Home town hero banners of wherever town this now is dot my optics as we pass another port, Middleport. Geese have made their home on the trail for days. It’s their world and I’m just in it. There. Their. They’re the only goddamn creature on earth enjoying the Erie canalway trail more than I am. There is literally no room for both of us in this town, theses fuckers take up the entire right of way. I bet they’re fucking Canadians. Wild. Animals. For. Sure. First I ring my bell and herd them to one side or the other. Usually it’s more fun to send them toward the canal and watch some of them jump right into the water. After about a dozen of those situations, I now just ride straight through. Like right now. Ain’t nobody got time for that. I part flocks of geese on the Erie Canal like Moses parts the red fucking sea. Some waddle away. Some hiss. Some are sitting in the sunshine, so caught up in their own zen that they don’t see me till the last second. That goose scurries quickly, I had no clue they could move that fast.

With a “short” 40-45 mile day, we cruise along briskly, knocking out 18 of them through Gasport and into Lockport. The giant hill kicks our asses one last time as the crushed stone finally gives way to pavement once again. At the top of the climb we stop into a bomb ass coffee shop. I crush an oat milk latte and a massive cinnamon roll. Massive like a just under the size of small sovereign pacific island nation. Shit is calorically dense and I immediately go into food coma.

Our roll out toward Tonawanda is delayed as a group of the more speedier varietal of bike nerd friends shows up. Like carbon fiber 20-25 mph average speedier. I’ve recently hit 40+ mph on this same fully loaded steel frame war pony last winter back on my San Diego to Jacksonville ride. Whatevs. Anyhoo. The speedsters are continuing on — though two have had enough and decide to take the slow ride back to Buffalo with us! Yes, Christina and Lasse join us and we are now a fivesome, rolling like a minivan on the canal trail out of Lockport and into Tonawanda. Then down the rail trail into Buffalo! Aw yeah!

Just a few miles to home and Main Street Buffalo New York reminds me what a fucked up city and state I live in. The local government can’t even paint lines in the street anymore. Main Street is a 7 lane wide highway without so much as a bike lane and cars fly past me at no less than 50mph with no regard for the sanctity of my life. Kara, Christina and Lasse split off and we say our goodbyes. Damon and I continue downtown, finally rolling in at a trip total of 602 miles. Showers and a reacclimatization ensue, we kick it with friends and damn does my bed feel good at the end of the night.

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